The rage over a cleric's decision to take a second wife continues, particularly among women, but what it means for the women's movement here is an open question.

One thing is sure: On Women's Day, Dec. 22, many women will be thinking about cleric Aa Gym, instead of the usual debate about whether the day commemorates the women's movement or is similar to Mother's Day in the West.

A spouse breaching a woman's trust and striving to make his betrayal legal is one issue that binds women whatever their differences. The latest edition of the women's magazine Femina, not known for its radical stances, is loud and clear on the issue: "Enough is enough!" it reads.

Despite all the explanations justifying polygamy, women are confounded to find they are supposed be absolutely understanding of a man's "natural" need for another wife – and that the practice is supposed to be acceptable in our society.

On this day in 1928, polygamy, along with political rights, was one of the issues raised in the first national women's congress. That so many of us are ignorant of this fact is only one result of the rewriting of history by the New Order.

This was not the only time, either, that women activists raised the personal as political. In 1953 women marched on Sukarno's palace when he wed Hartini. His first wife, Fatmawati, mother of former president Megawati Soekarnoputri, opted to move out to a private residence as she was opposed to polygamy.

But women's solidarity, or more precisely in this case, collective anger, is an on-again, off-again thing. Feminists say the movement toward equality of the sexes is the hardest battle of all, because it pits women against not only their husbands and brothers, but their sisters and mothers and their friends of both genders.

Even during times of struggle there is still the need for affection, along with all the other human necessities, such as the need to identify with a social group. With many groups now swept along by the religious revival, it is hardly surprising that women are trying to understand what behavior is favorable in God's eyes. Women are also known to put family first; hence their difficulty in forging alliances, even to fight for themselves.

It is unclear at this point how far solidarity will go, triggered by the popular cleric's second marriage. Women have failed to change the 1974 marriage law, which was a political compromise towards Islamists in that it legalized polygamy with tight conditions (which actually rule out the cleric's second marriage since he has numerous children with his first wife, instead of none – one of the prerequisites for polygamy).

Thanks to tools unknown to our grandmothers, the flood of text messages about Aa Gym's second wedding reached the President and First Lady. Now there is a plan to broaden the President's restrictions on polygamy to include not just civil servants but state officials. It is still to be seen whether that will materialize.

But old obstacles to meaningful solidarity remain among women and society at large. One such obstacle is an accepted practice that is probably considered to be as abhorrent as polygamy in other countries: the practice of paying maids only a few hundred thousand rupiah a month to be at our beck and call around the clock. These maids enable women to keep peace in the household; without them, increasing squabbles over a more equal division of domestic responsibilities would erupt in flying pots and pans.

With seemingly conflicting needs – peace in the family, versus the rampant exploitation of fellow women – activists' talk about "women's solidarity" seems to be purely utopian.

Honoring the struggle of our forebears, who for a brief time in the 1950s actually managed to issue a bill banning polygamy, women and men should work towards strategies that end the abuse of our fellow humans. Just because not enough people are shouting about it, does not mean it is acceptable.