ID Nugroho, Surabaya – Her answers are barely audible and her eyes cast down at the floor as she holds tightly to the arms of her chair.
"I realized that I had been deceived for much of my married life," Ratna Hastuti (not her real name), 45, from Jember, East Java, told The Jakarta Post. "I will never forgive my husband for neglecting our children." Ratna, the mother of four, is a victim of domestic abuse.
She first learned of her husband's "other life" when a man arrived on her doorstep and introduced himself as her husband Karyono's son. His name was Totok and it was clear from his age, 29, that her husband had been unfaithful for some time. Totok said the marriage had taken place in Jakarta. "The news was a shock," Ratna said.
A second blow came when Totok informed her that Karyono, whom she married in 1975, had married three other times. Ratna confronted her husband but his response was cold rather than apologetic and he threatened to leave her. "I would have left him then but for my children," she said.
Ratna counted on her husband mending his ways when she decided to give the marriage a second chance.
Karyono, who owns a construction company in Jakarta, grew more distant and neglected their children. When he married a fifth time she filed for divorce. "Excuse me for saying so but I now consider my husband dead," she said.
The Pro-Democracy Women's Commission (KPPD), a non-governmental organization advocating women's rights, has recorded an increase in the number of domestic violence cases among the province's 17 million women.
"There were 194 domestic violence cases in East Java in 2005, and the number could rise even more because many women are still unaware of their rights," the group's chairperson Erma Susanti told the Post.
Most of the women were beaten, confined to the home, threatened, neglected or forced into prostitution, or subjected to other kinds of abuse by their husbands.
Of the 194 cases, Surabaya ranks top with 52 cases, followed by Malang with 33 cases and Banyuwangi, Nganjuk, Pacitan and Tulungagung with one case each.
"I believe more cases of domestic abuse exist in small cities but have gone unnoticed because the victims are reluctant to report the case to the police as they regard the matter a 'risk of marriage'," said Erma.
Many domestic abuse victims are unwilling to talk about their experiences, let alone file a report.
Three women the Post approached for an interview said they were too traumatized to speak about their years of abuse.
Besides domestic abuse, women are also the victims of rape – including date rape – sexual harassment, trafficking and abuse by authorities in prostitution cases.
Rape ranks highest with 324 cases, followed by sexual harassment with 71 cases, abuse by authorities with 50 cases, date rape with 40 cases and trafficking with 12 cases.
The high number of abuse cases against women, particularly housewives, is proof of the ineffectiveness of Law. No. 23 on domestic violence, enacted in 2004.
The KPPD has suggested that all parties, including the government and the public, continue to promote awareness and enforce the law. "Without publicity and effective law enforcement, women, including housewives, will continue to face violence at home," said Erma.