It's hard enough being the mother of two young boys let alone the Mother of the Nation.

Yet that's the role Kirsty Sword Gusmao, who describes herself as "a very ordinary middle class girl from Melbourne," finds herself playing as wife of East Timor's independence hero and president Xanana Gusmao.

She was speaking to AFP in an interview after the Indonesian launch of her book about East Timor's struggle for freedom and her relationship with Gusmao.

"A Woman of Independence" describes her years of commitment to the East Timorese resistance, a commitment she says has won her acceptance in East Timorese society despite her foreign roots.

"I think the Timorese appreciate that and see me as a bit of a role model," Sword Gusmao said at a Jakarta hotel.

It's a daunting situation, she said, especially for someone who is just 38. "You know, I get talked about as the Mother of the Nation. So It's pretty scary," she laughs, "particularly when you have trouble actually fulfilling your responsibilities as mother of two little children, let alone of the nation." Amid their hectic work schedules she and Gusmao care of their sons Alexandre, three, and Kay Olok, almost two.

She is the founder of Alola Foundation which focuses on improving the lives of East Timorese women and children.

It was partly for her boys that Sword Gusmao wrote the book "as a record for them of times that they, thankfully, will never experience: harder times, hard times of repression and hardship and sacrifice."

Gusmao led the rebel resistance to Indonesian occupying forces until his capture in 1992 – the same year Sword Gusmao moved to Jakarta, hoping to deepen her understanding of Indonesian culture while secretly working with the East Timorese underground.

Her work brought her into limited contact with Gusmao, who was detained in Jakarta's notorious Cipinang prison. They married in 2000.

She said she was attracted to the charismatic, bearded guerrilla due to his "humility, his tolerance, his courage and amazing determination which he shared with so many of his resistance colleagues." Gusmao was released to house arrest in 1999 before the UN-organized referendum in August of that year when East Timorese voted overwhelmingly for independence.

Violence surrounding the ballot left at least 1,400 East Timorese dead, about 200,000 or one-quarter of the population forcibly displaced, and about 70 percent of East Timor's buildings destroyed.

They were "incredible times that will never be repeated," said Sword Gusmao, wearing a dress made of traditional East Timorese purple "tais" cloth.

Despite the painful past, Gusmao has made good relations with Indonesia a priority. His wife said she has found "a tremendous amount of interest ... and a lot of goodwill" among Indonesians during her Jakarta visit.

Sword Gusmao, who studied Bahasa Indonesia in university, said her history of involvement with Indonesia "is helping me now to play a role in terms of building bridges of understanding with this country." Her book, published by Pan Macmillan Australia, was launched last November in Australia and is available in limited quantities in the East Timorese capital, Dili.

"Because we basically don't have a book shop yet in Dili." East Timor was Asia's poorest nation when it gained independence in May 2002 after a period of UN stewardship.

Amid the pressures of rebuilding his shattered country, Gumsao uses his wife as a sounding board, she said. "And I don't hesitate to offer my views and perspectives on things but I think it has to be remembered that he is sort of the guerrilla commander and someone who I think understands better than anyone else, really, his own culture, his own struggle, his people." The Mother of the Nation said she doesn't want her sons to follow Gusmao into politics but hopes they will be able to contribute to East Timor's rebuilding.

"I'm sure that there'll still be many needs to be addressed once they reach adulthood. We have a long way to go," she said.