Tb. Arie Rukmantara, Jakarta – Concealing your identity for more than 30 years is an arduous task. It forces you to be suspicious of everyone you meet in your entire life, says Harsutejo, a former political prisoner during Soeharto's authoritarian regime.

"I couldn't even mention the year that I was born," the 70-year-old told The Jakarta Post on Tuesday.

Due to a speech he made that cited Sukarno's teachings on nationalism, religion and communism on Oct. 1, 1965, he had to serve six months in prison for allegedly leading an organization affiliated to the now defunct Indonesian Communist Party (PKI).

Soon after Soeharto took over the presidency in 1966, the PKI was banned and blamed for having masterminded the abortive coup d'etat on Sept. 30, 1965, leading to arrests and brutal killings of millions of PKI members and its sympathizers.

Harsutejo said that soon after his release, he went into hiding for fear of angry mobs and to avoid troops who were hunting down PKI members. During this time he threw away his identity card and bribed officials to make scores of bogus documents, from birth certificate to ID card in order to take on a new identity.

"I was forced to live a new life and left the life that I loved," said the man, whose original name was Harsono Sutedjo.

Not as lucky as Harsutejo, Djoko Sri Mulyono, 60, was sent into exile for 13 years and two months in a penal colony on Buru Island because he joined a labor union accused of links with the PKI.

"I lost my career and my life. I had to start all over again after I was released in 1978," said the former member of the Trikora Steel Labor Union of Cilegon, Banten.

The two men said the only compensation they wanted for all the sufferings they went through was to try Soeharto.

"Soeharto is the one who instructed all the arrests and killings. He must take responsibility," said Harsutejo, adding that according to some documents, the anti-PKI raids claimed the lives of about three million people.

Djoko and Harsutejo, along with hundreds of other former political prisoners, are opposed to the government's moves to clear Soeharto's name.

The Attorney General's Office announced Saturday that it would not prosecute Soeharto, citing his poor health as the reason. Now, President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono is considering forgiving Soeharto, his former military boss.

"Soeharto is the architect of my suffering," said Murad Aidit, 85, who also lived on Buru for 14 years. He was released from the island only after the United States pressured Soeharto to close the penal colony.

"The move to drop the charges against him really hurts us," he told AP. "But he will be tried by history." Soeharto's opponents say embezzlement is not the worst of the former strongman's crimes. They say Soeharto, one of the world's longest-ruling dictators, should be charged in connection with the political killings of people, mostly of communists and left-wing government opponents.

Also angered by the decision of the Attorney General's Office are the victims of the 1984 Tanjung Priok tragedy, in which some 200 people were killed and dozens others imprisoned.

They say President Yudhoyono must consider the feelings of human rights victims under the Soeharto regime.

"It is unfair to us if the President orders charges against Soeharto dropped and forgives him. This means the government has forgotten what had happened to us," said a Tanjung Priok victim.

Many antigraft and human rights activists as well as legal experts and academics also condemned the decision, saying the ailing former president could still be tried in absentia.

"There must be a verdict so the court can make a final decision on his legal status. After that, it's up to the government whether to pardon him or not," said Djoko.

Harsutejo and Djoko believe that Soeharto's crimes against humanity should be recorded in the country's history. "Should the government choose to clear his name, it would mean 'falsifying' our history," said Djoko.

A senior researcher from the Indonesian Institute of Sciences, Asvi Warman Adam said rehabilitating Soeharto's name should only be done after clearing the names of Sukarno and all former PKI prisoners.