Lely T. Djuhari, Jakarta – Not everyone will be cheering Monday when East Timor declares its independence and becomes the world's newest nation two years after seceding from Indonesia.

In Jakarta, some 3,500 veterans who fought in the territory plan to lower Indonesian flags to half-staff when East Timor's yellow, black and red banner is raised at a ceremony outside the capital, Dili.

"I feel betrayed and abandoned," said former Sgt. Maj. Soekoro, who was shot in a guerrilla ambush during his service in East Timor.

He is still angry at then-President B.J. Habibie's decision to allow East Timor to vote on self-determination in a 1999 U.N-sponsored referendum. An overwhelming majority of the territory's 800,000 people chose to separate from Indonesia after 24 years of occupation.

After the vote, vengeful troops and their pro-Jakarta proxies killed hundreds and destroyed much of the territory before retreating to the western half of the island, which is held by Indonesia.

The violence only ended when international peacekeepers arrived. Since then, the territory has been run by the United Nations in preparation for full independence on Monday.

"We will never understand why the government let East Timor go because we defended it with our own blood and tears," said Soekoro, who like many Indonesians uses only one name. He now heads a veterans' association at a military housing complex called "Seroja," or "lotus," the code name for Jakarta's 1975 invasion of East Timor.

The government says more than 3,000 soldiers were killed during the occupation, while human rights groups put the East Timorese death toll from fighting, starvation and disease at 200,000.

Many veterans are angry that Indonesian President Megawati Sukarnoputri plans to attend East Timor's independence celebrations. In an attempt to dilute hostility over her trip, Megawati will lay a wreath beforehand at the Indonesian soldiers cemetery in Dili.

The average Indonesian's feelings about East Timor's independence are hard to judge because news during the occupation was censored and most people knew nothing of what was happening there. Trials of several high-ranking Indonesian military officials charged with crimes against humanity in East Timor are attracting little interest.

Many soldiers sent to the 1975 invasion were young and poorly trained. Made Nirsan, 19 at the time, said troops were told to prepare for a "military exercise" and only learned on arrival that a war was going on.

"We cried every night because we were scared, but we did our duty," said Nirsan, who now lives off a $50 monthly state pension. "The president should come and see us before she goes to East Timor," he said. "We don't want to be forgotten."