Susan Sim, Jakarta – President Abdurrahman Wahid has been telling insiders this new joke for some weeks now: "There are three bodies beginning with the initials A.S. which do not like me.
"Adi Sasono, Amerika Serikat and Aryanti Sitepu," he will intone before erupting into laughter, referring to a former friend-turned-foe who was a minister in the Habibie government, the United States and the woman who claimed to have had an adulterous affair with him in 1996.
He can now add another A.S. to the list: Alip Suwondo. Mr Suwondo, as everyone knows, is the masseur who allegedly bamboozled a Bulog official into giving him 35 billion rupiah (S$7.3 million) under the guise of presidential authority.
He went on the run as soon as the public, and the police, became interested in knowing who benefited from his scam, and was arrested only last Saturday. And now, even the insiders are worried he might be able to provide a hostile Parliament with the excuse it has been looking for to prove the President's unsuitability to govern.
Perhaps for the first time, the question "Can he be impeached for this?" is being whispered in the corridors of power with some urgency. For, unlike earlier false alarms, the President has recently made quite a number of enemies among those who might have interesting tales to tittle-tattle, including a couple of police chiefs, one of whom might think he lost his job for arresting Mr Suwondo.
Meanwhile, the President is marking his first anniversary in power blissfully doing what he likes best – hobnobbing with fellow world leaders. Although Indonesians might quibble over whether his constant travels provide good value for money, there is no doubt he is the country's best salesman.
The government can claim some justifiable credit for its success this week in persuading the Consultative Group on Indonesia (CGI) to pour more money down a seemingly bottomless pit.
Mr Rizal Ramli's economic team worked hard to project an image of policy coherence and accountability, and Mr Susilo Bambang Yudhuyuno's security group took some hard collective decisions the President himself would not take, like ordering the arrest of a notorious East Timorese militia leader whose continued liberty had irked donor countries.
But, in truth, there was no way the CGI would not lend the Abdurrahman government the US$4.8 billion, not unless donor countries wanted to give his enemies the green light to unseat him, and watch the democratic process unravel (and lose all hope of ever recovering the US$60 billion Jakarta already owes).
Gus Dur might be angry over not being on Washington's A-list after his recent tongue-lashing from Secretary of State Madeleine Albright – she took umbrage at his sexist remark that Vice-President Megawati Sukarnoputri needed to shower while the new Cabinet was being announced in August – but he knows they still consider him their best friend here. If nothing else, he epitomises for a slightly paranoid West a moderate Islam that is beating back the hard edge of Islamic fundamentalism that others like Adi Sasono and even Assembly Speaker Amien Rais sometimes represent.
But it is always a mistake to boast at home of one's utility to the West. And Mr Abdurrahman did precisely that when Parliament leaders came to his palace for their consultation on October 10.
Ministers present said he spoke behind the closed doors for more than two hours about the goodwill and investments he had earned for Indonesia on his foreign trips, oblivious of the rising tension in the room. When it was time for legislators to speak, Deputy Speaker A M Fatwa launched into a blistering attack.
"Why would any country ask you to solve their conflicts when you cannot solve Indonesia's? Don't you realise they are only entertaining you?" he shouted as a total silence descended on the room, a minister recounted.
"I suggest," the politician from Mr Amien Rais' National Mandate Party (PAN) concluded after an hour, "that you pray to God to ask for guidance as to whether you can hold on to your job if you change your behaviour or whether you should resign."
And then Mr Fatwa added a caveat that stunned the entire room: "If you decide to continue, it is better you have a psychiatrist by your side to whisper to you." It was only at this point that Parliament Speaker Akbar Tandjung cut him off, another minister told The Straits Times.
It is the Parliament's fixation to recycle the same old issues. Without any clear ideological divide or policy differences to justify their antipathy towards the President, politicians like Mr Fatwa are focusing on character issues.
And their no-holds-barred tactics are tolerated and tacitly encouraged by party leaders who see themselves in a zero-sum game vis-a-vis the President – when he's up, they gain nothing. A year ago, these same party leaders thought they had everything to gain, and nothing to lose, if Mr Abdurrahman became President with their votes.